Days 238 t0 244 – Flying

I dreamed that I woke up when a woman entered my bedroom. She was walking down three steps when I opened my eyes. My bedroom, with it’s white walls, wood beams, bamboo ceiling and white sheer curtains billowing in the warm breeze was lovely and welcoming. The bed cradled me like a soft pillow. I  knew this wasn’t my bedroom, so it must be a dream, and I felt that shiver of excitement run up my spine.

I jumped out of bed and into the air to fly. It’s the first thing I do when I become lucid. I barely have a choice – I desire that sense of freedom so immediately. In this particular dream, I wanted to fly fast, really fast, like I had the pedal to the metal in a race car. But no matter what I did, the pace remained leisurely. I put my arms ahead of me, like superman. I flapped my arms like a bird. I frog kicked the breast stroke through the blue sky. I willed myself to Zoom fast. Nothing sped me up.

All week I’ve thought about that dream and the feeling of frustration I’d felt at being unable to bring that simple desire into manifestation, even in a dream. I mean, dreams should be easier to control and direct, right? I decided there was something wrong with me – that I am flawed in some deep way. I googled ‘ways to fly faster in dreams’ and didn’t unearth anything all that helpful, but was somewhat consoled that others have experienced the same problem.

As I reflected on the dream, I became bothered that I hadn’t said even one word to the lovely lady who had entered my room, especially since the glow of  her energy might indicate that she was a spirit guide of some sort. In the past I’d tried to get my dream-mates to fly with me, and it had always turned arduous, trying to convince them they, too, could fly. So now I just take off and leave everyone behind. I judged myself for becoming too much of a loner. Judged myself for feeling stifled by other people.

It took days for me to become aware of the thoughts and beliefs triggered by this dream. In listening to Abraham talk about establishing an emotional grid and letting the Universe take care of the details, I suddenly became aware of my grid of frustration, and was surprised by how intense my feelings of frustration were in the dream.

Frustration seems to have been my constant companion, available at a moment’s notice. I think I’ll learn to let this go, and focus instead, on looking forward to the solutions and changes heading my way.